An Open Letter to the Mom who was Compared to Me

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That man’s comment was nothing more than ignorance. He looked at you with your child and then he looked at me with my three. He took that moment and decided he knew us. He told himself that because I had three children who weren’t crying and you had one child who was, that I must be a better mom. He didn’t know about the struggle I had this morning trying to convince my oldest son to wear shoes. He didn’t know about all the times you went out with your son and he didn’t cry. All the times your son has been helpful and sweet. He just knew that moment.
I want you to know that in that moment, I didn’t think more of myself and I didn’t think less of you. I noticed you. I heard your child scream. Then I moved on. Because I’ve had bad moments too.
I know that during those times you wonder if someone is thinking exactly what that man said. I used to wonder that too. But then I heard that man suggest that you were a bad mom. A woman who was trying. A woman who didn’t lose her temper while dealing with an angry screaming child. A woman who was strong and told that man exactly what she thought of him. To a good mom who I assumed was having a bad moment.
After seeing how you handled that situation, I realized that you weren’t having a bad moment. You were actually having a pretty good moment. It was your child who was having a bad moment. It’s not the same. Before having kids I saw a quote, “I’ve never met a bad child, only bad parents.” And I’ve carried that quote with me all these years. I’ve let my children’s bad moments define and embarrass me. Until now. Until you.
So thank you. Thank you for being awesome in a horrible situation. Thank you for reminding me that my kids bad moments are not a reflection of my parenting and that their bad moments don’t make us bad parents. I fully understand now that it’s how we handle and move on from those moments that matter.
I hope that man didn’t make you think less of yourself. Because I couldn’t have been prouder of you.
Sincerely,
A Grateful Mama

 

 

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