Five Things I Learned From Planning My Wedding

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1) Other people’s weddings are WAY more fun than your own

This is truth. I thought my wedding was going to be AH-MAZING! I thought it was going to be the party of a lifetime. And it was…just not for me.  Nearly 10 years later, I still have people telling me my wedding was one of the best parties they’ve ever been to and they think about it every year. I can believe it, it was New Years Eve 2006 and my husband and I both have large families who love to drink and dance and live it up, and they did. And don’t get me wrong, I was totally happy and trying desperately to soak up every second, but after a year of planning a wedding one thousand miles away from my home in Florida, spending way more money than I should have, thinking and worrying tirelessly in the days leading up to the big one, and figuring out logistics the day of, my nerves were totally shot. I have totally enjoyed myself WAY more at other people’s weddings when I just show up to party!

2) Bridezilla is a Lonely Zilla

In my younger days, I was always too proud to ask for help. Ever since I can remember, I would assert my independence at every turn and thought accepting help from others was a sign of weakness.  When I got married, I was 22-years-old and ‘I knew everything’ (which is very different from being smart, let me tell you). Oh silly child.
Although I didn’t want to admit it at the time, my parents, grandparents and in-laws are smarter than I am in many ways.  They’ve been around the block a few times and could’ve offered me guidance if I would’ve been humble enough to ask for direction. Instead, I was a control freak and wanted to do everything myself.
Looking back, I realize my wedding wasn’t about me and only me.  It was also about my husband, my parents, my in-laws, and our extended families.  And they all would’ve jumped at the chance to help if I would’ve just let them.  Instead, I burned myself out trying to be a hero and pushed everyone else away until I felt very lonely in my planning.

3) Your marriage is important, your wedding is not

Pretty much everything you’re losing sleep over doesn’t matter. Wedding planning is a HUGE industry. Industry meaning business, business meaning money, money meaning LIES! When that sparkly little ring gets popped on your finger, suddenly you’re thrust into a new world, overwhelmed by choices.  Advertisers, bloggers, magazines and wedding shows will paint a picture of perfection, every photo you look at will be perfectly styled and gorgeous, and you will suddenly feel like every little detail is a life and death decision. It isn’t.  I know you want your wedding to be Pinterestingly perfect, but none of it matters.  Ten years down the line it will all be a fuzzy memory.  You’ll vaguely remember funny or embarrassing highlights like the flower girl pulling up her dress halfway down the aisle, or Uncle Eddie’s drunk ass tripping on the dance floor and taking out the DJ, but I can guarantee you won’t remember and/or care about the details. Cake flavor, centerpieces, linen colors…here’s how you pick – close your eyes and point and then move on.  It doesn’t matter.

4) Wedding night sex is so crappy…if it even happens at all

There is so much anticipation for wedding night sex, but I’m here to tell you, it will most likely suck…that is, if it even happens at all. It might not be the worst sex you have or will ever have, but it’s safe to say it will not be you and your partner’s best performance. Most likely at least one of these factors will contribute to under-par or non-existent wedding night sex for at least one of you: you’re exhausted, your nerves are shot or you’re sloppy drunk.  A survey by the Daily Mail found more than half of couples don’t even have sex on their wedding night.

But don’t worry.  That’s what a honeymoon’s for, which leads me to my last wedding lesson learned…

5) Skimp on the wedding, splurge on the honeymoon

My biggest wedding regret – we didn’t go on a honeymoon. We didn’t have the money; we didn’t have the extra time from work; we didn’t think it was important.  It is.  And we should’ve gone.  Your wedding is one day, it’s over in the blink of an eye and is full of obligation and logistics and stress. Your honeymoon is a VACATION!  If you have to make a choice on where to spend your money, spend it on your honeymoon and have the time of your life with the love of your life!

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One Response

  1. I agree with all of these! I just got married last saturday and everything you say here is so correct.

    xo
    Tessa
    http://www.travelwheretonext.com

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