7 Reasons Why I’m Okay With a Transgender Individual Using the Same Bathroom As Me and My Kids

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1) My boys use the women’s restroom and will for a very long time.

I have two boys and one girl and we all go into the women’s bathroom when out in public. My boys are young now and no one minds, but at some point their presence will make someone uncomfortable. My youngest is a beast and I have no doubt that he will soon look older than he actually is. If a woman were to come and tell me that my son doesn’t belong in the same restroom as me, I would strongly disagree.  I don’t know at what age I’ll feel comfortable sending my boys into the male’s restroom by themselves, but until that time comes I will gladly and unapologetically escort them into the women’s room with me.

2) I don’t think pedophiles/rapists need permission

I keep hearing the same story: What if a pedophile male pretends to be transgender just to get in the women’s restroom and then molests my child?

I want to point out the irony in all of this –the fact that people believe a man has been waiting to molest little girls in the bathroom for all these years, but hasn’t because it was against the law for him to walk into a women’s bathroom. I guess he just didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I feel similar to the argument that a women’s safety would be in jeopardy. As a woman I KNOW my safety is in jeopardy when I use a public bathroom. Also when I go to a party and accept a drink from a new “friend” and when I wear anything other than an oversized Mumu and even then it depends on the crowd. Creepy men do creepy things, regardless of the law, it’s sort of their thing.

3) I care about my sons’ safety too

If pedophiles really are the biggest concern, then why does it matter which bathroom they go in? Do people really believe that male child molesters only target little girls and that female child molesters only molest little boys? Men have been using the bathrooms with our sons for decades and no one has boycotted Target over that. Is it because we think boys are at less of a risk, or have we just decided that it was impossible to train our girls to fight back, yell, and run away?

4) I understand that the safety of my children and myself is my responsibility

We live in a world where bad things happen. It is my job to be aware of my surroundings at all times and this includes when I’m in a public bathroom. There’s a thought that if men walking into a women’s bathroom becomes commonplace, then we will all let our guards down. I think that as parents we should always be vigilantly watching our children when in public spaces. I understand that I need to be prepared to protect my children and my children need to be prepared to protect themselves. We need to teach our kids about stranger danger and what to do if an adult makes them feel uncomfortable. We need to give them the confidence to stand up for themselves and run away or fight if they feel threatened. And at the risk of sounding too judgmental, what are you parents doing that you can’t take 3 minutes to escort your child to the bathroom anyways? Or at the very least stand close by so you see if a creepy dude in a wig follows your daughter into the restroom.

5) Women are nasty AF

There I said it. Do you know how many times I’ve walked into a stall and was greeted with an unflushed toilet or a pee splattered seat? A women’s bathroom is not some sort of sacred destination. It’s gross and smelly and the line is always twice as long as the men’s line. I truly believe that if a transgender individual is trying to use the women’s bathroom it’s because she identifies as a woman and, for all intents and purposes, looks like a woman and would be uncomfortable and most likely harassed if she used the men’s bathroom. She wants to clean your pee of the seat so she can pee, end of discussion.

6) I wouldn’t know

Lots of women look like men and lots of men look like women. So when I go to the bathroom, I assume whoever is in there is a female and if they’re not, I would never know. Transgender people have used, and will continue to use the bathroom that they identify with, and we will continue to be unaware. And if I’m suspicious, I can just leave and wait until they’re done.

7) I don’t live in a public bathroom

I use public bathrooms daily with my kids, but we spend maybe 15 minutes in public bathrooms a day. For 15 minutes a day, I can watch my kids and surroundings a little closer if I feel it necessary. I am happy to do so if that means that a person who is transitioning from male to female can use the bathroom where she feels the safest. There will be plenty of times when I put my safety, needs, and beliefs ahead of other people’s needs and wants, but I don’t feel like this is a situation where that is necessary.

 

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